your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
