I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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