oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
