It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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