Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
True but thats because hes a fetus.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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