Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
