Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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