yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
