dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize