Buhtt sex?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize