Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
