I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
