how do flat chested girls get laid?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize