Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
