Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
