In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's never too late to be topless.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
