Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
