i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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