Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize