Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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