I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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