I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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