Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
