you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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