You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
