i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
