what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
