it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
