You made me cry and you don't even care
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
