i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
