White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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