Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
