haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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