I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
