The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
