I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
