Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
