you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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