FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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