We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
