Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
soo... how was my night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
