he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
