Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
