Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
