I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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