so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize