It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Randomize
