TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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