Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
