There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Small penises have feelings too.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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