He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
