I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
