I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
