Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
