If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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