You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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