he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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