Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
