Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
