So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
