Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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